What is it about McDonald’s that I’ve somehow cultivated such a raging love hate relationship? Over the years, I’ve made a pointed mental effort to avoid that drive thru of ‘dietary hell’. Sure, I know that McDonald’s offers some pretty healthy items on their menu, but seriously – Does anyone even order that stuff? I go there because I’m addicted to salty, mega high fat foods! McDonald’s offers salty mega high fat AND high calorie foods! Mouth watering Big Macs with a side of French fries almost inspires me to a state of arousal! So, like any junkie, it’s hard for me to stay away for very long.
On this particular visit in late February 2016, I found myself waiting in line with the rest of the lunch time lemmings just so that I could eventually pull up to the brightly lit ordering microphone that’s in front of a menu nobody can ever read. Uh, heads up McDonald’s people. You need to put your menus before the car gets to the microphone – that would give the starving and crazed customers a chance to make a good decision before ordering! (Truth be told, most everyone already knows what they’re gonna order anyways)! And, how boring is it to pull up and stop only to have the speaker go, ‘Welcome to McDonald’s! Would you like to try our chopped liver special?’ To which you decline and then proceed to order what you really want. THEN, speaker thingy goes, ‘Would you like that super sized?’ Still under some emotional control, you say ‘no thanks’ and finally move on. The next gauntlet comes as you approach the ‘money window’ while you simultaneously drive and attempt to fish money out of your wallet or pocketbook! Sheesh!
So, here’s another heads up McDonald’s corporate. Get rid of the crappy menu board, shit can the wheedling monologue at the ordering station and erect a flashy digitized board that promotes specials you think that demographic crowd would actually order! Duh!
Oh, and hey! You want to get really cool? Then create a little dashboard dongle that a customer could acquire by registering online by setting up an account using a credit card – After arriving in the mail, this would be a digital transmitter device that a customer could use to verify the transaction with a copy of the receipt going to his or her email. This would vastly speed up the order process while also being a convenient way for customers to pay….
Now, after writing this all down. I’ve decided to just stay home and raid the refrigerator!