This is what the North American continent looks like today. I mean to change all that. My simple plan will; solve our country’s food shortages, create cheap energy, expand our lands, eliminate the National debt and solve the our problems with Mexico – all in one fell swoop!
OK, my solution starts out by our government building a few walls. A few high walls…say about a half mile up and of a length as is effectively described in the map below…
|A few walls are added to the general landscape!|
As you may be able to see, Canada and her rather frigid arctic air are now completely sealed off. After construction is complete, and when the next winter arrives, all that bottled up arctic air will freeze the entire population of Canada. Voila, new lands for us to settle are thusly created!
Next, we remove a small section of wall and release all that frigid air…which is then funneled down the middle west of the country into, you guessed it – Mexico! And voila again! That pesky immigration problem is now also a thing of the past!
|Let the COLD air flow!!|
Next to last, and as you may have guessed, building all those walls will have added trillions to our debt. But, no worries! My solution to that little problem will be to sell off the western states to the rubes in China for a tidy profit. Sure! We’d also be getting rid of the Golden State in the process… but, maybe that’s not a bad idea considering her own pending bankruptcy!
Finally, I will personally ask from a grateful Nation, a small piece of property which I will name as DanO’s Territory! I will also seek a small piece for my friend and confidant, General Zod!
|You’re all welcome to come to my territory anytime!|
The end result will, I think, work for most everyone concerned. Oh! You might be wondering about all those millions of frozen Canadians and Mexicans? Well, they can be easily ground up into feed for cattle, resulting in really cheap prices for our domestic beef! See, it all works out! I’m being totally serial…
Note: I’ve sent these plans to our President and to a number of other ‘think tanks’ for their consideration. So far, only Soros has responded back favorably….
Disclaimer! This post is a work of satire. The author would never condone the grinding up of anyone, outside the Washington Beltway…