Finally, after all these years, I’ve seen the light and it is the Federal Government! I’ve decided to model my personal finances after this most highly esteemed body of legislators because…IF IT’S OK FOR UNCLE SAM, THEN IT’S OK FOR ME!
Into the trash go my poor efforts at balancing a home budget! Check registers? Naw, don’t need ‘em anymore! And, the same goes for those bank and credit card statements! I shall, from this day forward, model myself after the highest power in the land! I shall spend without remorse or even care. I shall do so, so quickly that it will be hard for anyone to follow what I the heck I’m doing. I shall learn how to shuffle money from one pocket to the next in a manner that would make a film-flam man blush with envy.
Yep, that will be the new me….well, that is, just as soon as I get Congress to pass one trifling law – I want the ability to print money when I need it and I want my bank to automatically cover any shortfalls at their expense! Yeah, baby! And, if this works out for me, I’d like to see these changes take effect for ALL AMERICANS everywhere! Just think of the positive and long lasting effect that would have on the economy as we all spend money in a narcissistic orgy of self gratification without end. You know, the way our government has been doing on their own for all these years!