In a press release by the White House, Janet Igotnoclueio released a statement warning Americans to be on the watch for the latest in terrorist threats; cranium and colon bombs.
Apparently some smooth talking extremists have recruited dopey-eyed young idealists into volunteering for a full lobotomy procedure. The cranial cavity thus created will be stuffed with high explosives and electrodes planted in the basal ganglia will enable Jihadist leadership to control the person from afar via remote control. Expects are cautioning citizens to be wary of anyone walking around in a jerky manner who is also wearing a black mask. (Duh). Other living bombs, they caution will be much easier to spot as these may be men who have had a pound of explosives shoved up their rectums. Watch for anyone who walks funny and who shows a sense of profound urgency on their faces. Ignore the ones in suits. Those are Democrats.
What part of ‘you’re outta here’ do the recently ousted Representatives and Senators not get? Do everyone a favor and PLEASE JUST GO HOME. Ramming another trillion down the throats of Americans, giving Russia the upper hand on missile defense and passing crappy tax legislation (that all sides admit is crappy) is no way to run my country.
A recent Gallup pole shows congress enjoying an all time low approval rating of just 13%. What happens, I wonder, when get gets down to zero? Perhaps we’ll find out!